As promised, I have returned with a list of personal demands of myself for this post. It wasn’t easy, I’ll have you know, since being introspective seems to be a bit of a problem for me. However, as I stated before, I want to post these demands for purposes both selfish and selfless. I want to post them selfishly because I need to see them written down in real life. I have never actually made a list like this, so I think that’s important for saliency. I selflessly want to post them because I need your help. If I stray away from these demands, as I almost assuredly will, I need your help to keep me focused and to get me back on the right track.
So, without any further ado…let’s get started, shall we?
From myself:
I expect to maintain consistency in all aspects of my life which will benefit my pursuit of my career and personal goals.
I expect to take more pride in the defining characteristics of my life, my personality, and my bein a father.
I expect to take more time to learn, either through reading or through formal classes. As I used to be such a knowledge junkie, but have in recent days slacked off on that in lieu of other unimportant ventures.
I expect to take better care of my body so that I can be around to see Maksim become the man I am raising him to be.
I expect myself to allow others who care enough to help me, help me. I expect myself to swallow my pride if needed, in order to allow others to help me when I would normally shut out the world and try to fix everything myself.
From my friendships/relationships:
I expect those in my life to help enrich my life, as much as I seek to help enrich theirs.
I expect myself to know when to walk away from “bad investments”. Meaning, toxic friends, people who do not add any value to my life as a result of our friendship/relationship, and other such “life suckers” need to go.
I expect any significant other(s) in the future to have the courage and personal security to allow me to be who I am intrinsically.
By virtue of the above mentioned expectation, I expect mysef to be respectful of any significant other(s) in the future, with respect to their unique nature. I expect myself to have the same courage and confidence to not be that jealous boyfriend who smothers his girl. Relationships aren’t made in heaven, you have to make them heaven. Grandma Ruthie told me that once, and I expect myself to remember that.
I will no longer tolerate:
Apathy.
Regret.
Looking over my shoulder and missing what’s in front of me.
Excuses.
Rapacious friends.
One-sided personal associations.
Fear of missing out (I refuse to use the acronym).
Feeling sorry for myself.
In the foreseeable future, my goals are:
I will either have a position in a formal advertising agency, or will find a job as the marketing manager for a company. Hopefully locally, but if not, I will work wherever I need to in order to improve my son’s life.
I will be on my way to weighing what I weighed in college when I was at the peak of my athletic ability, 204 pounds. I will work out regularly, both at my apartment and the gym that I have been paying dues to for the past 3 years but have gone to a handful of times.
I will have sorted out and remedied my financial struggles, both by better financial planning, and by eliminating my indulgences which have helped contribute to my current situation.
I will be happy with the man I have become, the man I used to be, and the man I have yet to turn into. I will no longer wake up and wish I wasn’t me. I will do what is necessary to confront and deal with my internal struggles and overcome them.
There it is. The List. It’s not easy to come to terms with some of these things, but I know that I needed to in order to continue this pursuit. I always sign off by telling all of you to allow yourself to continue your own personal pursuits, I guess it’s time to start doing the same. Right?
Until next time; keep ambition in your heart, logic in your mind, and allow yourself to continue the pursuit.
The Pursuit of Somebodyness 