Life moves pretty fast…

Anyone who has grown up remembering the 80’s, at least the latter part of it, will remember this quote. “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” One of most people’s favorite 80’s movies was Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (unless it was the Breakfast Club, or 16 Candles, or…), and in that movie I think a lot of people saw a person they wish they would have been. Even now, at 32, I look at this high school kid and I think to myself “wow, this would have been one helluva life.” Of course, that isn’t really the way life goes. First of all, who would have believed that Sloan’s dad would come to pick her up in a 1961 250GT California? Seriously, let’s be honest, he would have come to pick her up in a Ford LTD. I mean, the man was a fireman. What would he possibly want with a Ferrari that rare? And while we’re on that subject, what was Rooney thinking when he was watching Mr. Peterson give a 5-7second frenchy to his daughter in full view of anyone within eye-shot? But I digress, this isn’t what this post is about.

If you’ve seen the movie, you know what follows after they pick up the car, and the girl. Which, brings me to my point; you’ve gotta live a little in order to truly enjoy what small amount of time you have on this earth, and to do that, you have to take some risks.

Does that mean that you need to ditch your responsibilities by any means necessary, take over a parade, crash a power lunch and generally do everything that a normal person could never do? Of course not. But, what’s the point of life anyway if you can’t have a little fun? Tyler Durden told us that he didn’t want “to die without any scars.” There’s the classic quote about sliding into the grave with a drink in one hand and having a body that’s been used to it’s limit, or something to that effect. Go on Pinterest and there are myriad different quotes on people’s quote boards about risk-taking and coloring outside the lines and so on. Why then, if we always put these messages and images and movie scenes in front of us, is it so hard for us to actually DO those things?

Because we get older.

Because we get wiser.

Because we believe it when people say “You’re too old to do this, or that, or whatever, anymore.”

Is it advisable for a 32 year old man to stay out until 4am on a Tuesday, partying and drinking the night away? Not at all, unless your job happens to be to live like this guy. If that’s the case, then by all means, like my buddy Randy says “You got it? Ball out!” Sure, our risks take different forms as we get older and more mature, but that doesn’t mean that they should be avoided by any stretch of the imagination.

Don’t work jobs you hate.

Don’t accept bad treatment from toxic people.

Avoid doing something just because someone tries to guilt-trip you into it.

Follow your heart, no matter what anyone else says, thinks, feels, or opines.

Give into the possibility that maybe, just maybe, your choices made today will work out better for you than what anyone’s wildest dreams for you are.

There are plenty of other words of advice I could give you, but the important thing is that you find your own. You have to find your own path. And, as I said in my last post; right or wrong, you have to be willing to live with the consequences. This is true in love, life, and business. Don’t get so caught up in making plans that you miss your life. You’ll miss one helluva show if you do.

Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop to look around once in while, you could miss it.

Until next time; keep ambition in your heart, logic in your mind, and allow yourself to continue the pursuit.

When all the world’s telling you you’re wrong, you’ve gotta be right.

There are times in everyone’s lives where we feel like the decisions we make aren’t exactly the best ones, but they FEEL right. They just make sense inside of us, even if they don’t make sense to anyone else. And we have all heard the familiar criticisms about our perceived bad choices, haven’t we?

“I just don’t think this is the right thing to do.”

“I like (insert person’s name), I just don’t like him/her for you.”

“I don’t think you’ll be as satisfied if you settle for (job opportunity X).”

“There’s just not a lot of room to grow at (company Y).”

And so on, and so on, and so on.

In my personal journey though life, those closest to me have always been frustrated with me. They’ve always said, “If we had only told you the exact opposite of what we wanted or thought you should do, you’d have done it, because all you ever did was the exact opposite of what we said.” All joking aside, it used to really bother me that people thought that way about me. Did they really think I was that disrespectful? Did they really not understand that I listened? Did they really not know how much their counsel meant to me?

Turns out that they didn’t, or at least I did a bad job of showing or communicating how much it meant to me. I would listen, but I always made my own decision based off of all the information I had received. I felt like I had a wealth of knowledge and experience behind me, and that helped me to accept the consequences of my decisions, good or bad.

I promise there’s a point here. There are going to be a lot of times when it seems like everyone in the free world is telling you that you’re making the wrong decision. That you’re not taking your time to decide. That you’re just clouded by emotions or desperation, or false motivations. It’s going to seem like you’re all alone in your convictions. Like you’ve drawn a line in the sand between you and everyone you care about. When this happens, fight harder.

It’s in these moments where you will find your true strength. You’ll find out just how hard you can fight. Just how hungry you really are. Just how far you’re willing to go in order to stand up for what you personally believe in. And, when the smoke has cleared and everyone has seen you stand up and fight, they will respect you. Or they will wither away, either way, you’ll find yourself in a better place because of your dedication.

If the entire world tells you that you’re wrong, then you have to be right. And if you’re not, so what? So you took a shot and missed; hey, at least you took the shot and didn’t cower away from the moment. You take the shot, you roll the dice, sometimes you come up big, and sometimes you crap out. You don’t take it, you don’t roll the dice; then you just get to live with the curiosity of what would have happened if you had just stepped out of that comfortable bubble for a moment. Sometimes, that feeling just lasts for a few days, and then you see that you ultimately made the right choice anyway because a better option comes along. But other times, you have to live with that decision for much longer, sometimes for the rest of your life. Is it really worth that kind of insecurity and regret, just to say that you didn’t rock the boat? That you colored inside the lines. That you didn’t have to worry about being hurt. Maybe you can say that, and you can be happy because of it. But, if you’re like me, that just doesn’t work. Right or wrong, you have to take that shot. You have to roll those dice. You have to rock the boat, color outside the lines, take the risk of being hurt. If that’s you, then keep it up. Don’t give up that demeanor. It may not always work out, but it will save you from being able to say you always played it safe.

Until next time; keep ambition in your heart, logic in your mind, and allow yourself to continue the pursuit.

Finding your ambition again.

I finally caved. I finally gave in to temptation. I finally started to write another blog post.

“Do you have any idea how difficult it is to blog while unemployed?” I recently asked a friend of mine via text message, while laying on my bed, in my sweatpants, with my completely neglected weight bench just sitting there mocking me.

“Why? Not lack of time…or lack of a functional brain?” I’m not 100% sure what the message meant, but I got the gist of it.

“Ambition..” was my reply.

She was not impressed. And I got scolded. It’s that kind of refreshingly brutal honesty that I appreciate my friendship with this person so much. Even though she referred to my hand as a “banana hand” (I have large hands, but that doesn’t mean we all get to celebrate it, ok?). But, there’s a point here. If that’s really the case, if I really have given up on my ambition, then there are some serious issues that need addressed.

What is it that I’m really doing? Why do I even have a blog that is centered around my self improvement? My drive. My desire to help others who are in need of a motivational boost. Most importantly, what do I need to go to get back to that point where I didn’t have to worry about lack of drive?

“You need to revisit your list.”

So I did. I looked at the things I wrote about such a short time ago, and I had a very real assessment with myself. Sure, I was fulfilling some of the items. I am proud of that, and I think it’s great that I’m doing some things according to plan. However, I am not fulfilling other parts, and that’s what concerns me. It was easy to slack off though. To relax. To rationalize. But all that ain’t gonna pay the bills. It isn’t going to continue to push me. It’s not going to keep me focused and motivated.

There are countless motivational speeches, movie clips, rah-rah speeches, and other forms of motivational blah blah that’s out there that I could start rattling off. The Rocky speech. The Knute Rockne. Speech X, Y, Z, and all the rest. Instead, I think I’m going to take a page out of another friend of mine’s book.

I think that it was something that I unconsciously avoided since I first saw it. Self-assessing exercises have always been a problem for me, since I often have a hard time finding the pros amidst all the self-imposed cons in my life. I didn’t do this right. I said that wrong. I didn’t take opportunity X. I passed up on connection Y. I could have. I should have. I would have. And so the cycle continues. Resolutions are much like the previously mentioned exercises. They force us to look at ourselves critically. To change things that we don’t like about ourselves after we have shined a big bright light on those things. Ultimately, most of them get broken, and if you’re a consistent gym-goer, you see that happen fairly quickly after the New Year. But, what if we condensed all of those resolutions down? What if we made it all as simple as, say, a single word? Now that takes some doing.

How do you put everything you want to accomplish, improve upon, and change over the course of an entire year, into a single word? How would you? I will admit that it took me quite a while to break it down from a set of resolutions, to a sentence, then finally to a word that sums up what I want 2015 to be like. But, I have found it.

Courage.

Of all the things that I want to accomplish this year. Of all the ways in which I want to change. Of all the things about me that I want to improve, courage is involved with all of it. Courage to accomplish what I have set out to accomplish. Courage to help me change the things about me that I need to change and want to change. Courage to improve myself in ways that may not be popular, or at least seem that way. Courage to speak up when I have something to say. Courage to do the things that I know I must do, but may not like doing. Courage.

What will your word be? Will you be able to condense it all down? How difficult will it be to keep your word in mind, 2 weeks, 2 months, 10 months from now? I encourage you, dear reader, to not give up on your word. To not forget that there are real promises at stake when you consider going back on your word. That to whom you promise these changes and improvements and accomplishments is just as important as what it is that you promise. Keep on pushing, and keep on reaching.

Until next time; keep ambition in your heart, logic in your mind, and allow yourself to continue the pursuit.

Not out of the woods just yet…

I think Jay-Z said it best in his song “A Week Ago”, it’s funny what 7 days can change. The amount of time, I think, is irrelevant; but, the over-arching message is not. Sometimes in life, it’s funny what a little time will do to you. To someone else. To everyone. It’s funny sometimes to look back on some of the failed relationships, friendships, and whatever-ships I’ve have over the years and look back at just what exactly it was that lead to each of their demises. I feel like “demises” shouldn’t be a word, but if the all-knowing spellcheck doesn’t pick it up as an error, I guess it’s best to not question it and move ahead. That being said, it’s time to take a little look and see how things are stacking up with my list lately. I decided to give it a few weeks. One of the things I learned in my schooling adventures is that it takes 21 days to establish a habit, so updating things after a week just didn’t seem to make sense.

So far I have kept pretty well to my list. I’ve started eating better, working out, and taking better care of myself. I’ve lost weight (which is read as body fat), I have more energy, and I feel better throughout the day. I have taken more responsibility for my job search, and although I am still not in a new position, I feel like I have been doing the right things to get myself ready for when the opportunities do start to present themselves.

I have done a pretty good job at removing toxic relationships, rapacious friends, and otherwise negative vibes from my life, instead filling it with positive people and experiences.

This dinner was great, and my friends were awesome, but first…

I have started looking into better educating myself. I plan to get a meeting set up with an advisor to see what my options are for continuing my education. And, so long as it won’t cost me me first born son, I still plan to going back to school.

The only issue I have is…I don’t want to do one thing. I want to do EVERYTHING.

I want to study Chemistry (my true first love), Physics (because I still believe that I can shoot a water balloon from my old apartment roof to the rooftop at Asher Agency here in Fort Wayne), Anatomy/Physiology (because it’s easy), Math/Business (because it’s hard), Marketing (because I’m passionate about it), Entrepreneurship (because I still think Flow is an incredible idea that could make me set up for life), and a whole slew of other things.

A terrible realization came over me the other day while I was sort of lamenting over my situation: I am now 32 years old and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a Chemist, a Doctor, a Lawyer, a Creative Director, a Club Owner, and the real bitch of it is; I could do it, any of it, all of it.

The little boy here with me is about the only thing I can definitely say is a constant for me. Above all else, I know that I want to be a good father.

He demanded to help with the eggs. Who am I not to oblige?

But, what else? There has got to be something more out there that will be the thing that defines me for the years to come. As one of my old bosses told me once, “Ya know, when you are growing up, and you have all of your years ahead of you; you tend to look around and just say “Oh, I’ll get to that when I feel like it.” But, I’m here to tell ya, once you get to about 30-35, when you start to see that you have more years behind you than what you have left, you start to really think about those things you put off. Because you may not be able to get around to those things later. You start to take better care of yourself because you start seeing that the odds are not in your favor,  and that time is not really on your side.”

For the longest time, I always looked at that and thought, “Nah, that guy’s just full of shit.” It never really dawned on me that those days come up on your a lot quicker than you know, until I became a father. Because no matter what you do, no matter who you meet or where you go; that little boy of mine is going to keep getting older, and more mature, and wiser, and most importantly more independent.

So, back to the point, now what? I still am passionate about my possible move into the marketing world in a more formal sense than being a glorified door-to-door salesman. I am still looking forward to the first quarter having tremendous possibilities for me that are along with my long-standing career goals. The only difference is that now, I feel like it’d be ok to have a few extra hobbies on the side. Yes, I called learning Chemistry and Physics and A&P, etc. “hobbies”. But, those things interest me. And besides, wouldn’t you like to know how to make napalm, or launch water balloons from a city block away and hit the target, and be able to diagnose your son or daughter’s ailments better than your doctor can? Yeah, I kind of thought you might. In the end, all it takes is the will to do what the other guy won’t. It’s funny what 7 days can change. What will it change in you?

Here’s one more picture of my baby boy, for good measure, because he began his love affair with basketball officially last night.

GO MAD ANTS!!

He got to high five all of the players last night as they were leaving the court. I like to think of that as the quickening in the Highlander world. The game has been transferred to Maksim, and he was livid when we had to leave the court. Looks like I may have a gym rat on my hands after all. I’d be ok with that, as long as he doesn’t give up what he wants for what he thinks someone else needs. Time will tell. I hope to tell of his time.

Until next time; keep ambition in your heart, logic in your mind, and allow yourself to continue the pursuit.

While we’re on the subject here..

This just came to me as I was laying in bed with my little boy (who by the way has grown-man farts…oh my word!!!):

Tomorrow is a new day. What you have done this weekend, this month, this year, this lifetime; it can all start to turn in whatever direction you decide tomorrow.

That’s a helluva responsibility for us all. Think about that. You get to choose if you become something greater than your wildest expectations, or the disappointment of a lifetime. You can choose to be the happiest person you know; the one that makes others jealous not because they hate you, but because they can’t understand how they couldn’t become so happy themselves. You can also choose to be that person that people will talk about at get-togethers like so: “Yeah, (insert name) had everything going for him/her, but look at him/her now. He/she just gave up.”

What story do you want them to tell? What are you willing to do to re-write your own story? It’s like a video a friend sent me a while back, be the hero of your own movie. As I said earlier today, it’s only a choice away. All you have to do is ask yourself, “What if?”

Until next time; keep ambition in your heart, logic in your mind, and allow yourself to continue the pursuit.